Don’t Call it a Comeback

IMG 0729 300x200 Dont Call it a Comeback

I didn’t realize how long it’s been since I’ve posted anything. I’m not one for excuses, so I’ll just say I’m back in action! Life has been hectic (hence the empty glass), but I’m finally getting my groove back, so to speak.

Anyway, I’ve got some goodies in store, so stay tuned.

Peace!

Peace: Happy Veterans Day

Just a little something I made in remembrance and to say thank you.


veteransday stylefreeblog 256x300 Peace: Happy Veterans Day

Credit: Used stock images by polaraul (flag) and AlysAlone (hand) from Deviant Art.

Beautiful Creatures

beautiful creatures 300x225 Beautiful Creatures

Nothing fancy. Practicing my Photoshop skills. I found the original picture under the stock photo section of Deviant Art.

I think I wanna marry you….

Okay, before you judge me, let me explain. I used to be a sucker for love for love’s sake. I fell into the whole Disney fairytale life, complete with prince charming, three children, dog, and that happily ever after ending (I know, I know – sad, right?) But I soon learned what life had in store – and it certainly wasn’t prince charming or happily ever after.

Don’t get me wrong, I still believe in love- maybe even true love. I’m just more of a realist now and reality is that people are getting married less and less, and many marriages are ending in divorce – but I digress. I plan to be married one day, and while I don’t want a huge spectacle of a wedding ceremony (cough, Kardashian, cough) I DO want the coolest proposal ever!

I’ve always wanted a cool proposal. Nothing cliché or corny like a blimp with a “marry me” sign hanging from it or a Latin man in tight pants with a violin serenading me over a moonlit dinner for two. I mean, that’s nice and all, but it ain’t me. I need someone who knows me, who knows what wows me, and I want him to show me what he’s got.

The guy in the video below did just that. I mean seriously, a flash mob proposal! A flash mob!!!! At Disney World! Okay, if you think about it, it does sound corny. But after you watch this video, I think you’ll change your mind.

He gathered up a few of their friends and put thought and effort into his delivery. Kudos, guy. You get major kudos.

I appreciate effort. Yea, they messed up on some moves, but so what? In the end, it was a super cute way to say “I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life (getting on your nerves, letting you get on my nerves, and) loving you.”

Thanks to my friend over at Cerebral Gumbo for sharing this video on her Facebook page!

Why Can’t We?

It’s been a CRAZY few weeks for me. I’ve been super busy, stressed, and overwhelmed. These days, it’s just work, Work, WORK!  But, I recently stumbled across this video and it made me feel so much better – especially the dance scenes. (See, I like to image that I can dance – you know, pop and lock and whatnot. Truth is….. I CAN! But, I’ll save that post for later.)

Have you heard of Asa (pronounced Ashah)? According to her web site bio, Asa, a native of Nigeria, fuses pop, r&b, world, funk, soul and reggae to create her unique musical masterpieces. In her latest album, Beautiful Imperfection Why Cant We?, she sings in both English and Yoruba. For more information on Asa, her background, and current projects, Google her or visit her website.

I don’t own any of Asa’s music yet, but after hearing Why can’t we Why Cant We?, I know I’ll soon join the ranks of dedicated Asa fans everywhere.

Are you an Asa fan? Have you heard of her? 

Why Do People Still Do This?

Okay, I’m not a natural hair nazi. While I do choose to wear my hair in its natural state and encourage other women to embrace their natural curls/kinks/coils, I do also understand that some woman like relaxers and weaves and that’s never going to change. Honestly, I don’t care that much about what other people do to their own hair. I do, however, care about the negative and shameful mentality that African-Americans and women in particular perpetuate in regards to “black hair”. This leads me to the point of this post and this question….

Why are people still burning their scalps in the name of straight hair holiness??????!!!!!

While I do understand that the result in this video does not represent all circumstances, I do know (from years of pre-natural hair experience) that, MOST of the time, when we get our hair relaxed, it does burn.

So another question I ask is: Does the end justify the means?

See, this is why I went natural. I just couldn’t do it any longer. Poor child.

See where I found this video and the original post over at Clutch Magazine.

Finding My Voice

 

 

 

I’ve been blogging for less than a year and I have to admit, I’m still trying to find my voice (among other things). Blogging would have been so much easier in college, mostly because you usually have a lot more free time on your hands. You also don’t have to worry about “what not to say”. That’s what I struggle with the most.

IMG 0173 150x150 Finding My Voice

I would love to churn out a blog post or two everyday, but my reality is – I’m too busy. I’m not saying I cant (that’s not in vocabulary, even though I just used it, but you know what I mean!), I’m saying it’s difficult. As a freelance publicist with a 9 to 5 and multiple side contracts, I barely have time eat and wash the back of my neck (nice visual, huh?). But admittedly, with some effort I could probably find time to write more. My issue is finding that balance between producing intellectual and entertaining material that (1) doesn’t go too far and make me look, well …. hood, and (2) isn’t dry and bland like a  rice cake (remember rice cakes? gross). I find myself wondering:  What if I use explicit language?  Will that make me look bad? What about slang? What if I wanted to talk about sex?

It’s not that I particularly care what people think to the point of changing myself, but I do want to remain professional  while being myself. I guess, it all comes down to choices. As I begin to write more frequently, I am starting  to find that happy medium. I read so many blogs, from Very Smart Brothas to Afrobella to Journalistics to Chris Brogan. They all are blogging veterans and I’m sure it took them a while to find their voice too.

In the meantime, got any advice? How did you find your voice?

I Usually Don’t Do This, But….

 

 

 

 

What is Rihanna doing in this video? Oh, that’s not her? (insert embarrassed face) Carry on.

Seriously, I know that’s not Rihanna.

I’ll be honest with you. I RARELY watch music videos and I hate 106th and Park. Yea, I said it, hate. Why, you ask? Maybe it’s because when I did watch it, it was co-hosted by Free, one of the most down-to-earth media personalities you ever did see. Sorry AJ. You gets no love. I just couldn’t get past the predator braids, but I digress…

Music videos are all the same nowadays. All you need is a half-naked, exotic-looking chick as the “star”, some smoke and fog, a few dudes with tattoos, wife-beaters and skinny jeans (insert vomit sound), a club scene, a shower scene,  a bunch of almost naked women, and a slow motion effect.  I can’t even watch a Beyonce (I refuse to call her “Bey”) video without seeing a butt cheek or two or six.

As you can imagine, when I found out that Lil Wayne made a video for his debut love song, “How to Love” I didn’t think it was anything special. To be honest, I wouldn’t have known about the video if I didn’t read an article about it. But I have to admit, Lil Wayne surprised me with this one. The video was actually…. good….. actually really good. (there I go using those SAT words again. )

To be fair, the song isn’t exactly terrible. I thought it was catchy when I first heard it. But when I heard it a second time, and specifically listened to the lyrics, (this was particularly difficult because Lil Wayne sounds like drunk Uncle Pete, that crazy uncle who always tells stories about the good ole’ days when he used to play spades with his buddies and squeeze ladies booties and run) I was surprised by its message.  Lil Wayne actually addressed a huge  problem in the African American community – the cycle of sexual promiscuity and abuse that plagues African American women in poverty.

How to love is just a title. To some degree, the issues brought about in the song and video have a huge impact on a woman’s ability to love, but it goes deeper than that. Our ability to make choices, ones that affect the lives of people around us, is was determines whether we end up unmarried, pregnant, broke, and uneducated – or intelligent, successful, married  (or in a stable relationship) and overall happy.

Wayne caught a lot of flack when this song debuted, mostly from his fans wanting that old thing back -songs about weed, liquor, money, cars, clothes, hoes, blah, blah, blah, – it’s been done before. I’m glad he made this song. While I don’t appreciate the technical details of the song (*cough, auto-tune, cough*), the lyrics and the message make up for it. And this video puts a little something extra on it.

 

So what do you think? Should Lil Wayne stick to rapping? Does this song and video do justice to the social epidemic of single women looking for love in all the wrong places? Should Rihanna sue the woman in the video for stealing her forehead and lips? (Okay, I threw that one in there for fun) But seriously, what do you think of the video?

What’s the Best Advice You’ve Ever Gotten? – Part 1

 

 

 

I’ve decided. I’m going to dedicate a series to collecting “best advice” from professionals, leaders, elders, and your average Joe Schmoes and share the best ones with you. I must really like you guys, huh? Seriously though, like I’ve mentioned before, I enjoy talking to people and getting sound advice on pretty much everything.

So here goes installment numero uno (that’s Spanish *wink *) :

What’s the best advice you’ve ever gotten ?

@Kholi: Oh, gosh!  There’s so much great advice given to me every day … my spirit is always so open to the amazing folks I’ve been privileged to be mentored by.  But there are 3 things I literally think about everyday.

The first 2 are from my undergraduate adviser, Dr. Lloren Foster.  It’s not really “advice,” but statements he made to me with the intention of me heeding.

1. “I’m into healthy relationships.” — Trust me; it’s taken me awhile to get that one right.  And I still work on them- with my mother, my partner, my business consultants, friends- all of them.  They must be healthy.
2. “It’s funny how even the leaves know when to let go.” — What seemed like simple commentary on autumn was really a tug on my soul like, “Kholi! Get it together!  Not everything is for everyone!  Not everyone can, or is meant to, stay!”  I’ve really been learning that commitment isn’t always the best thing for me. 

The third piece is from my grandmother, Carrie Gray.  She was literally one of the most amazing women I have known, besides my mother.

3. “Keep moving, shoulders back, hips, heart, and head forward.” — Ya, what can I say?  She makes sense.

Grandmas know everything, don’t they? If you’re wondering who @kholi is, read Part 1 and Part 2 of my interview with her. She’s an amazing person and such an inspiration! Oh, and guess what?

Shameless plug section!

Carrie Kholi, author and chief editor of kholioli.com, is a full-time writer, entrepreneur, English graduate student, and EQUALLY full-time beauty enthusiast. Having worked to develop several start-up companies and non-profits, Kholi most recently developed The Ardor Brand, a boutique PR and social media development company for beauty brands such as fashion lines, spas, personal trainers and estheticians.

Currently, Kholi is putting all her energy into Lucky Magazine’s lucky lifestyle contributor contest. Here what she had to say:

kholi2 208x300 Whats the Best Advice Youve Ever Gotten?   Part 1 Kholi: I’m SUPER EXCITED ABOUT IT (clearly from the caps)!  I spotted the ad for it in the magazine about a month ago.  I ripped it out.  I posted it on my wall!  I want to be Lucky’s next Lifestyle contributor like I want like … like I need to breathe to have it.  It’s basically 5 rounds that last from now until November, 2011.  We have to write according to the rules of each challenge, but they’re looking for personal spins that will be just right for the magazine.  If I win, I get $10,000.00 and a chance to work with Brett, the head editor … and honestly … it would be checking off one of my dreams from my to-do list.

The title of my first submission is “We are What We Wear: Say It and Mean It!“  It’s about personal style.  We had to discuss a terrifying style moment, stylish, peers, and style tips for the workplace.  I hope the ladies reading are loving it and learning from it!  I’d love for EVERYONE to sign in and vote for me!

 

KholiOli.Com | FB | TWITTER | POLYVORE | BLIPPY

 

 

Ask a Professional: Public Relations and Entrepreneurs

 

 

 

I don’t know about you, but I’m constantly searching for advice. From industry leaders online to friends and family in person, I’m always on the constant lookout for sound, results-driven advice – especially when it comes to public relations and becoming an entrepreneur.

If you’ve been reading my blog (and if you haven’t, you so should!), you’ll know that I talked with entrepreneur Carrie Kholi of The Ardor Brand, a full-service boutique PR & marketing firm located in Philadelphia.  Carrie, better known as Kholi, isn’t just your average PR professional/entrepreneur. She has a bubbly personality that will give any coffee lover/ morning person a run for her money – with industry experience to boot! I asked Kholi to share her insider advice on PR and business and here’s what she had to say:

Talk about your profession – what qualities you need to be successful, what to expect, what you wish someone would have told you in the beginning

 Kholi: What you need: Motivation.  Respect; for yourself first, then others.  An open heart. Thick Skin.  You need these things because, no matter whether you’re good at what you do or not, nothing is easy.  You will have to motivate yourself every day.  You will have to sometimes do it twice a day.

What to expect: You can expect to hear the word “No.” You can expect for people not to understand your vision.  But you can also expect amazing joy when your work does pay off.  When clients look at you as though you’ve given them hope, that’s a real thing.  When you make an invaluable connection … not for yourself, but for someone else, that’s a real thing.  Those, sometimes, are the only motivations.

What I wish someone would have told me: TRUST YOURSELF.  There will be those that seem smarter, seem less shy, seem like they’ve got it all together, seem like they know more than you- this is false.  You know yourself better than anyone else.  Listen to that nagging voice, that feeling of anxiety, that headache or queasiness.  They are annoying, but they will guide you.  Also, listen to the heart flutters, the feelings of joy, feel the constant smiling … the things that make you do that … pursue them relentlessly.

I love that her advice is so personal. Anyone can search the web to find information on the technical side of PR and starting your own business, but Kholi shares the stuff most people in suits don’t or won’t.

Wanna know more about Kholi? Of course you do! Read Part 1 or stay tuned for part 3 of my interview with her. But for now….

Shameless plug section!

Carrie Kholi, author and chief editor of kholioli.com, is a full-time writer, entrepreneur, English graduate student, and EQUALLY full-time beauty enthusiast. Having worked to develop several start-up companies and non-profits, Kholi most recently developed The Ardor Brand, a boutique PR and social media development company for beauty brands such as fashion lines, spas, personal trainers and estheticians.

Currently, Kholi is putting all her energy into Lucky Magazine’s lucky lifestyle contributor contest. Here what she had to say:

kholi2 208x300 Ask a Professional: Public Relations and EntrepreneursKholi: I’m SUPER EXCITED ABOUT IT (clearly from the caps)!  I spotted the ad for it in the magazine about a month ago.  I ripped it out.  I posted it on my wall!  I want to be Lucky’s next Lifestyle contributor like I want like … like I need to breathe to have it.  It’s basically 5 rounds that last from now until November, 2011.  We have to write according to the rules of each challenge, but they’re looking for personal spins that will be just right for the magazine.  If I win, I get $10,000.00 and a chance to work with Brett, the head editor … and honestly … it would be checking off one of my dreams from my to-do list.

The title of my first submission is “We are What We Wear: Say It and Mean It!“  It’s about personal style.  We had to discuss a terrifying style moment, stylish, peers, and style tips for the workplace.  I hope the ladies reading are loving it and learning from it!  I’d love for EVERYONE to sign in and vote for me!

 

KholiOli.Com | FB | TWITTER | POLYVORE | BLIPPY